It's Been a Long Year

When I think of where I was and how I was this time last year, it's like night and day. I lost good things that made me happy. I still make some of the same mistakes that made me miserable. I've deepened friendships and ended others. I strive to be more honest with myself about who I am on a basal level and how much I can realistically pile on my plate.

What's that expression about the eyes being bigger than the stomach? My eyes are bigger than my schedule. It has been a consistent and lifelong fault. I remember having a conversation with my parents at the ripe old age of 14 about taking on too much. "Really? Laura, you think you can handle jazz band, church and school choir, the school musical, art class, models on top of your regular school work?" So I quit band and models, made honor roll, chased off a boy and barely kept from snapping like a twig.

My mantra was always "I'll find time." In my mind, that time was always the next free weekend, oblivious to the idea that the next free weekend could be months away and when I got there, I more likely would just collapse under the weight of my exhaustion. But then those valuable times of collapse/rest that often kept me away from a full systems meltdown went away when the unpredicted disasters started to flood in and take up every remaining second. I had to double and triple schedule just to make it to medical appointments. I would work sitting in waiting rooms. Or I'd sit there and marinate in self-pity or fear. It tenderizes the meat so I'd be emotionally soft when repeatedly stabbed with a metaphorical fork.

I'm working through a dramatic personal re-org. I'm learning how to say "no thanks, I'm full." I try to remind myself that taking on a new thing means compromising or removing an old thing. Baby steps.

All that goes to say that I'll be posting again, although I'm not going to promise to myself or anyone else that it will be regular or like clockwork as it was briefly. But I enjoy writing and making ponies and both feed into the other as a perpetual motion machine of productivity. And I wanna draw a little. I passed up an opportunity to sell my 2D art about a month ago. But the honest answer is it I don't do any of this to sell my work. I just like it. Sales are a byproduct.

Having said that, I'm hoping to produce some work for sale in the near future because I'm a poor college student and I can't buy groceries with personal growth or pay rent with emotional fulfillment. My landlord is a hard ass like that.

Ouch

First, something model horse-y and pretty...

I bought these two from Maggie Bennett at Breyerfest this year. There were my annual "I'm buying something for ME" treat. I find myself really drawn to paint them at the moment even though I have no shows coming up. Most of my live showing schedule went out the window for the foreseeable future with grad school. While I won't be driving to paint and sell whatever the hot new resin is this fall, it does give me time to refocus on what makes me happy. And that means little pewter ponies.

And then there's the new injury (pics after the jump.)

Beginning a New Chapter

So I'm starting graduate school in a few weeks. I'm going to be a Husky.

This has been a long term goal of mine, and not just because I thought their mascot was cute when I was ten. I am very excited to get started (and more excited to finish--and graduate--and start my new career--and make more money--a lot more money...) But the downside is my model time will be more limited over the next couple years.

Riding Ponies is an Unsafe Activity

I'm having an interesting few months. My focus has been on self-improvement, but beyond the diet and dance lessons I’ve decided to finally fix this:

Mid-back

Pony Express: Packing, Shipping, and Moving Your Models

I’m in the middle of a move, so my plastic pony making time is considerably limited this week. There's also the back issues, which I'll post a summary of on Monday. However, I’m hoping to make lemons into lemon drops out of my current predicament. Today, I’m going to talk about my packing and shipping techniques.

Times, They Are a Changing

By now, I'm sure most of you have heard that Breyer is discontinuing JAH.

I originally subscribed as a horse crazy kid, way back in the mid-nineties. I think I begged for month before my mom relented and sent in the subscription card found in every yellow Breyer box. My first issues opened up a new world to me of custom Breyers and performance set-ups. I spent hours reading the classifieds, scanning for (what else?) Shams for sale.

The How-To's were a godsend. I can say with confidence that I wouldn't be where I am today without them. There was particular article, which lead to a custom, which lead to a sale years later, which drew me back into customizing.

So part of me is deeply sad to see it go.

However, I've also been in the hobby long enough at this point to know that nothing ever just disappears. Magazines have come and gone. But overall, for every resource I've seen fall away, dozens have popped up to replace it. Breyer is moving into the digital age and much of the content is moving online. If this prompts Breyer to expand their website, I see this as an overall gain for the hobby.

Still, I'll miss it.

A Change of Direction

Anyone belonging to my yahoo group will know I don't sell my work very often. Over the last two years I've been hoarding my work for my show string. I had a few goals in mind I wanted to accomplish and selling any of my work ran contrary to that. Primarily, I wanted to show at NAN and Breyerfest to see where I stood nationally. I'm proud to say I exceed my expectations and my success has encouraged me to continue to work and to further push myself to improve.

We are very proud of you.

My father sent me the above as a text message last Saturday following a show. One of my parents will usually ask how well I did following a show when they remember I've attended one. They don't understand the details (I typically have to reexplain what a NAN card means) so I tend to keep it to "I won a championship/overall championship/overall reserve/etc." or "I got my ass kicked."

This weekend I got my ass kicked.

Considering the immense quality of the competition in Region 1 and particularly at the show this weekend, there's no shame in a loss. But the text I got from my father wasn't in response to the show at all. They were proud because I sold a horse.

In the past, my model work has been a source for superfluous amounts of anxiety for my family. They aren't horse people, and they consider the models seriously weird. In order to keep the peace, I've periodically gone into hiatus or had to hide my work. My family's change of heart is very good news.

This is the first time in my life that models have been my soul source of income. A month ago, my contract position ended. As you know, the economy isn't great. Hiring is moving at a snail's pace and most companies consider graphic designer (my day job) disposable. Actually, it's worse than that as I've primarily worked as a graphic illustrator: the most disposable of the disposable.

To make a long story short, models may be my primary income for a while. Expect to see new work pop up for sale on a regular basis. I have a few medallion-type projects planned for the spring which should be previewed here soon.